#022 - some love for the woman on her healing journey

My Sweet Being,

Your tender heart deserves nothing more than to feel love. To feel love coming in and out, flowing endlessly and abundantly. It is so full, that it cannot but spill over into everything you do.

All you wanted was to feel this love.

And at first, you did.

But then came the conditions, the expectations. You learnt that it wasn’t that easy. If you made your mommy upset – then the love wasn’t there, all of a sudden – or so it seemed.

You started to learn what parts of you would receive love and what parts would not. Like a moth to a flame – you could not help but be attracted by the love, and you would leave in the dark whatever it was intuitively you knew didn’t have room inside that beam of light.

There was a small part of you that said:

“It shouldn’t have to be like this – I should be loved for all that I am”

but you also put it aside. For to listen to that part was too painful at the time. You desperately wanted it all to be as it should – and to believe that the love you were receiving was the best there was. It is threatening to be a child and to understand the full extent of your parents shortcomings, even if you saw it superficially.

So you made up stories that those parts of you were bad. That we were right to be weeding them out with mommy and daddy – that this was how we evaluated others as well and this is the way the world works.

But the cracks would show. The overwhelming emotions, the bad moods, the irritation and the fights. Maybe you started ‘acting out’ or maybe you dissociated – became floaty and distant and numb. Your soul was angry for the rejection and the suppression that your Whole, Authentic self was experiencing.

*** 

The conditions placed on receiving love as a child have followed you to this day. You still feel like you need to work so had in order to be loveable. You need to prove yourself, to fight to get what you want. It’s tiresome and lonely.

You long for nothing more than for the loving arms to wrap around you, squeeze tightly and tell you that you are safe and loved – just as you are. Not a single bit of you needs to strive to be something, not a drop needs to change. You can simply relax and enjoy this feeling, this love that is never going away and will always hold you.

*** 

This is the yearning for loving feminine energy to make its way into your life. The one that celebrates what is, that notices the little things and takes joy in beauty and comfort.

It’s the medicine for the parts of you that have been on overdrive, working so hard all these years.

It’s the medicine that your tender little heart is aching for.

***

Love is not in any one place. Unconditional, Universal Love is everywhere and it is your Birth Right. Your Authentic Expression of your soul is perfectly at home in that fabric. Your Authentic Expression is your Birth Right, too.

When you love someone – you are channelling this Universal Love towards them and this experience expands you beyond yourself. You feel connected to the love of the Universe and this experience is exhilarating. If you let yourself be an empty vessel – this loving energy gets to flow purely towards your beloved. But when your fears and your doubts take hold – this constricts that flow and you are no longer that great being outside of yourself.

The same applies to creativity, by the way. Being creative is an act of connection to Source and Universal creative energy – the life force that brings all life into being. But when you succumb to your fears of not being good enough, self-doubt and fear or of others’ opinions – you constrict that flow. You are no longer honouring the Prayer that is you creating something. You are no longer honouring your connection to the Divine.

Anyway.

When parents have children – ideally they are to act as ‘empty vessels’ for this Universal Love to flow through. To channel this unconditional love and to support their children’s Authentic Selves to feel completely worthy of love exactly for who they are.

When this gets blocked due to the fears, anxieties and trauma of the parents – love becomes conditional towards the child. The parent, through no fault of their own (for they too, are children of parents) have failed to let this unconditional love that is the birth right of their child’s to flow through.

Maybe there is trauma in the family line – maybe some other things happen in the life of the child that cause him or her to feel further connected from this Universal Unconditional Love.

The child mistakenly believes that she is not worthy of this love – or that it must be worked hard for. That it is not available to her, like it seemingly is to other children. As a child she does not understand that the Love is there and that she is deserving of it just as she is – it just wasn’t flowing through to her at the beginning of her journey.

When she grows up and finds her way in the world – she will seek the medicine she needs.

She might look in the wrong places for many years. She might be seeking to fill the void in her heart through external means – through romance, sex, career, addictions, distractions, over-exercise, being virtuous and ethically superior, external validation, popularity… Nothing wrong with any of these in themselves – but when they are being used to try to fill the gaping void inside – the relationship between the individual and these activities will not be in balance.

All the addictions, distractions and ‘seeking from the external’ are Medicine in their own ways anyway – so let us be grateful to them too for serving us for when they did.

But now she is at the threshold of seeing through all that.

Now she is ready to tackle addressing ‘The Void’ head on.

There she is – striving and working hard again, bless her.

*** 

It is one of those things that is a prime example of ‘simpler said than done’.

She simply needs to come into connection with the Unconditional Universal Love – energy that is her (as it is everyone’s) birth right.

Easy, right?

***

This is where the medicine of the Feminine will come into her aid – if she will allow it.

The Divine Feminine takes her weary heart in her hands. She helps her feel safe to cry and grieve all those times that her Authentic Self felt unloved, misunderstood and abandoned.

“You are my Daughter – You were born from me and I have always watched over you

You had to harden yourself in order to survive. I understood that I had to leave you for all these years whilst you were dealing with that environment that you were in. It wasn’t safe for all these parts of you to feel worthy and to be expressed. You did what you had to do – you buckled up and made do.

But You are in a Different Place now.

You have done so well for finding the Medicine, the support and the guidance to get to where you are now.

And Now – it is safe for me to return to You.

It’s safe for me and for those parts that I took away with me – to come back into your being. To help you feel so complete, so worthy and so loved for exactly who you are.

And with me I will bring the softness, the joy, the freedom of expression and creativity. We are going to have so much fun together.

It is safe for you to keep connecting to Unconditional Love, which by now you know is permeating the Universe. Even if you can’t yet feel it yourself.

Remember that you were born connected to it. Unfortunately, this connection was severed for some time – but it is now safe to return. And know that there are so many people, places and communities who would like nothing more than to help you on your Journey Home to Authenticity and Love.”

Cover photo: Benjamin Wedemayer on UnSplash